That I am maybe going to enter the competition to be DSK's 2010 new jewelry model.
I AM A REALLY COMPETITIVE PERSON. ALL YOU LADIES WILL BE DEFEATED!!! BUT NOT BECAUSE I TAKE PRETTIER PICTURES THAN YOU, BUT RATHER BECAUSE I AM SCARY AND I WILL GUILT-TRIP STEPHANIE NGUYEN. THAT'S DSK'S NAME, BY THE WAY.
I WOULD KNOW. CUZ I KNOW HER. AND THAT IS WHY I'M GOING TO WIN. SRSLY. YOU SHOULD ALL QUIT NOW.
Just kidding, kind of.
No but really, I'm going to do a video on whatever I feel like on Friday (if time allows).
Apparently this very much describes my lifestyle, and is along the lines of a thing I would write.
I think it is excellent, please enjoy!
"Do you ever wake up and imagine how awesome it would be if you didn’t have to get dressed? I do—I hate getting dressed. It would also be great if I didn’t always have to brush my teeth—it’s boring. And then instead of going downstairs to eat breakfast, I would just stay lying down and the food would float upstairs and into my mouth. Actually, instead of having to open my mouth all the way up, there would be an IV going directly into my blood so I could stay relaxed and asleep and wouldn’t have to chew. Similarly, there would be two tubes in my pajama pants so I never had to stand up and walk all the way to the bathroom. And instead of using my hand to turn the pages of books or pick up a remote control, I would just stay asleep, and my mind would play imaginary movies all the time. And then I would never have to open my eyes again—I could just stay so relaxed and chilled out that instead of breathing I would just stay super still and silent forever. The ultimate in lounging. And then I would be so chilled out that they would put me in a box and just let me chill out forever underground."
This is worth reading, especially the 2nd part with pictures. It's pretty LOL-tastic.
So last Friday I got an email from someone about a "job opportunity" as the "national parts sales manager." I thought it was one of those spam-make-10 million dollars from home-type emails, because it was signed
*Fake name, because... SECRETS
Anyhow. The email is legitimate. CEO/president Bob FOUND my resume online (that actually happens?!?!) and wants to interview me for a managerial position.
Did I mention that CEO/president Bob has also been a state senator for 20 years and ran for governor? Yeah, and he's contacting ME.
I mean I'm confident in my abilities... and I am an exceptionally hard worker... but I never really expect companies to PURSUE ME. This is the 2nd time this has happened in my life. The first time was my junior year of college when a company basically THREW a Search Engine Optimization internship at me. It was pretty much the coolest/best feeling ever.
Anyway, I emailed him (Bob) back on Sunday and gave him a call today.
They are looking at some candidates to hire from WITHIN first (saaaadddddd), but I am on "the list" to interview for the national sales manager position if the company doesn't proceed with a current employee of the company.
Aaaaaand on a separate but related note: I have my 2nd meeting with the biotechnology company TOMORROW. I have been networking with this company for 6 months!
Don't get me wrong... I am not THE BEST INTERVIEWEE EVARRRR. I try to be very professional.... but sometimes I let my quirky sense of humor get the best of me.
I got to the 3rd round for the 3rd DIFFERENT POSITION at the same company this summer. They kept calling me back because they "Still want to find a position for me within the company!" but kept giving the positions to people with "more years of experience out of college."
So for this 3rd round of the 3rd different position, I was competing against 5 other people with the same or better qualifications... AND most of them had family members who currently worked for that company. I really felt like I needed to differentiate myself in some way.
I was very professional in the interviews, and the 4 managers who interviewed me were very friendly with seemingly excellent senses of humor.
SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A RISK AND DO SOMETHING KIND OF INSANE, NATURALLY.
(DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!)
Along with some professional follow-up emails to the people who interviewed me, I attached the following pictures. I thought it showed a little personality... apparently just I (and all of my friends on Facebook-- LOL) found it to be hilarious....
Each person who interviewed me got one of the following photos...
So I went to a hyper-fancy spa on Sunday. The "new" Eau Spa at the Ritz-Carlton on Palm beach. I say "new," because it recently underwent a $300 MILLION renovation. Yeah, $300,000,000. That's a lot of zeros.
This is the service I had done: "Champagne Shimmer Body Luster 60 Minutes / $190
Champagne, the great aphrodisiac, delivers the ultimate in skin-smoothing effects. This decadent body scrub refines and perfects the skin, as glittering warm Champagne oil hydrates, and adds sparkle to your body contours."
Basically... the entire room smelled like Lemons (you can request room scents and colors, I happen to eat lemons (plain) so I lurveeeed the lemon scent). Stuff that was put on my body?? BROWN SUGAR. AVOCADO. CHAMPAGNE. Among other things. Ummm so basically I was smothered in all things I find most delicious. I asked the massage therapist if it was safe to lick myself.
I am officially the yummiest person you know.
Here are some pictures from the spa!!!11!one!1 All taken with my iphone bc my camera is broken, sry.
Some random women at the spa. It wasn't a very sunny day, but you can imagine how beautiful this would all be on a good day! Those are my toes in the bottom of the pic, btw.
This is my Momma. HI MOMMA.
This is a pic of my sister's pale legs and Kindle. Hey pale legs and Kindle!
Please excuse my pale tennis feet... and all the bruises on my legs from my tennis serve. Battle wounds! Also... I need some better posture, eh?
These were heated ceramic tile lounge chair things. They were so warm and comfortable! My mother and I took accidental naps for about an hour and a half. :)
My legs look distorted-- but the main part of this picture is the oversized rubber duckies by the hot tub! DSK-- an Evil Ducky clan??